Crawling back to newgrounds because this is the platform where (nearly) no mutuals know me, but I wanted to share some words

If I die then ig you could count this as a suicide note, but most likely I'll just rediscover this in a few months and awkwardly scroll over it and never talk about it ever again

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So basically I have wanted to end my life from a pretty young age until now and have lost track over the various unsuccessful attempts up until now

Currently I don't directly want to die, nor do I have a good plan, but I wouldn't mind leaving this world

I pretty much just think that anyone who gets to know me a bit closer really quickly gets sick and tired

I'm really sorry for not fulfilling the expectations of others and overall being just a very mentally ill and disgusting person

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Whenever I feel like this I take a look at one of our cats and it hurts to think about all the attempts in the past

The thought of leaving my family behind is the worst, as I fear they wouldn't take it too well

But I believe that I have no other option

I'm really terrified of what I'm about to do

Extremely